Born To Die
by janertyuiop
Summary: Imagine losing your memory, not knowing who you are, what your name is or what you even look like. Imagine the confusion, the determination and the possibilities. This is a story about a girl who finds out more and understands less and less.


Born To Die

"Lost but now I am found  
I can see but once I was blind  
I was so confused as a little child  
Tried to take what I could get  
Scared that I couldn't find  
All the answers, honey"

Lana Del Rey, 'Born To Die'

She awoke in a daze, confused, her body aching. She blinked a few times before looking around the room to grasp what was happening now. It was an infirmary; the beds were neatly folded and placed strategically in equal distance of each other. It was mostly empty except for the three other people sleeping peacefully on their beds. But other than that, she couldn't spot anyone else who was conscious. She slowly sat up and started to think of all the possibilities that could have happened for her to end up here. But she wasn't exactly sure where 'here' was, she knew she was in an infirmary but where exactly? She closed her eyes and asked herself the things she didn't know, _what happened last night? Where am I exactly? What day is it?_

"Are you alright," a sudden voice questioned. She looked up and saw a tall, athletic looking boy with sun-kissed hair and blue eyes. Silence filled the room, she was a little stunned by his sudden appearance. _Say something, say something. Say yes. Nod. Do something._ She wasn't sure why but she didn't know what to do or say, it was like he was speaking in another language.

He walked closer to her and asked once more, "Are you alright?"

She nodded timidly, her heart suddenly beating faster. He raised an eyebrow at her, wondering why it was like she was afraid of him, looked around the room and quietly pulled a chair to the side of her bed and sat down.

"Will Solace, Apollo Cabin. Do you need anything? Water? Food? Directions to the toilet, maybe?"

She opened her mouth to introduce herself in return but nothing came out. She rattled her brain, _think, think. What's my name? _Nothing was leaving her mind as silence appeared once again. Will observed her for a few minutes before leaving her there, thinking all she needed was some food and water for her system for her to function properly again. _What's my name? _She sat there thinking but to no avail, she didn't know. _Who am I?_

Will came back a few minutes later with some fruit, a sandwich and a cup full of water on a tray. He set it on her lap and told her, "You'll feel better after you eat, I think. Call me or anyone else if you need anything," and started to walk away.

"I don't know who I am."

Will turned back with a confused expression on his face, "What?"

"I don't know what my name is. I don't know what happened to me or where I am. I don't know who I am," she said, realizing the seriousness of it all and started to panic a little.

"Well, I'm sure one of your fellow cabin mates could identify you. You _are_ from Camp Half Blood," Will reassured, tugging on his orange shirt and pointing at her.

She looked down at herself; she didn't even realize she was wearing the same shirt he had on. "But I don't know which Cabin I'm in. I don't even remember what Camp Half Blood is."

"It's alright. Calm down, I'll get Chiron here to sort this out. Just stay there and eat."

"Okay," she answered, "Thank you by the way, for the food," and began to mindlessly devour everything.

As she heard footsteps approaching, she reached for her water and drank it, trying to calm her nerves. Two out of the three campers who were sleeping were now awake, she tried to be friendly and smiled at them whenever they looked her way but all she got were empty looks and vacant stares. Everything was not going as planned, she thought that one of them would at least know her or know of her. _Maybe they just can't recognize me._

Chiron appeared in the doorway and she spit her drink out of shock and disbelief. From the waist up, he looked like any other normal man, brown hair and eyes to match, nothing special. But from the waist down, he was half horse. _Did he put something in my drink or is this really happening? _

"I'm sorry I spit my drink out, it was an accident, and I can clean it up later. I didn't mean to, it's just, I've never seen-"

"There, there, that's okay. I guess for us, it's quite normal around here. Will tells me that you don't know who you are? What your name is or anything like that?"

She nodded, "I'm not sure why I can't seem to recall anything. I mean, I don't even remember what my own face looks like."

"Then perhaps, I think it's time you took a look at yourself," said Chiron, offering her a hand she hesitantly accepts. It wasn't long before he led her to the hallway where there was a gaudy looking mirror awkwardly placed directly opposite of a door.

She eagerly walked towards the mirror, but her pacing slowed with every step. It was like she was seeing herself for the very first time, like she was trapped in a stranger's body. She was fair and petite, her long wavy hair the defined the colour of autumn. Her eyes were the colour of ash, eyelashes long and curled, her lips a soft crimson shade and freckles danced long her face. She was beautiful and even she had to admit that, but none of it felt natural.

"It still doesn't feel…right," she stated after a while. Chiron stepped closer, he was about to say something when he noticed a silver chain around her neck.

He pointed at it, "what's this?"

As if by instinct, she clutched her chest with a hand and backed away slowly, not knowing what to do as she started to grow scared. Realizing this, Chiron backed away and apologized, "why don't you follow me to the Big House so we can try to sort this out?"

She nodded quickly and they both walked in silence. Along the way, she wondered if she would ever get her memory back, and why she acted so defensively towards Will and Chiron. Maybe it had something to do with what happened. Or perhaps she was just crazy.


End file.
